Category Archives: break

Confessions of a Personal Trainer

Aug 4

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So this post was inspired by a combination of things.  1) I’m being a total copycat here, but I really liked Eat, Live, Run’s “Confessions of a Food Blogger.”  I’m totally not a food blogger, but I am a personal trainer, and I think a lot of people have preconceived notions about what we do/think/say/eat.  2) I’ve been taking it kind of easy lately and went back into the gym this morning for a less-than-intense workout after a week of avoiding it even though I live across the street. 

What kind of penance do I do for this?

Anyway, without any further ado, here are my confessions.  Forgive me, gym rats, for sometimes I sin:

I love working out, but I go through phases where I would much rather read in my bed than hop on the treadmill or do a set of squats. 

This summer has been HOT and humid in Chicago, even in the supposedly air-conditioned gym.  So, for the past week and a half, I have been calling my bike rides to and from work cardio.  And I don’t really feel guilty about it. 

I think there is a point of pushing yourself too hard and being too obsessed.  Contrary to what many trainers I know have said, puking at the end of your workout isn’t healthy and ignoring injuries to get in 3 workouts per day is more insane than it is tough.  Call me weak if you want, but I’ve never gotten more from a workout because I saw my lunch afterwards. 

Sometimes I use being a PT as an excuse to wear leggings, sports bras, and t-shirts as my daily uniform — even if I’m not training that day.  And on the extra lazy days, I chalk up not wearing makeup and donning a wide stretchy headband with a pony tail to working in a place where people are sweating anyways. 

If I demonstrate ab exercises enough during the hours I’m on the job, I might call it core work. 

Lately, I’ve been paying attention, but not really freaking out over what I’m eating, and people are telling me I look smaller.  I’m chalking that one up to chilling the eff out for once. 

Sometimes sleep takes precedence over my workout.  In the last two weeks since leaving my old job and starting to work at these smaller studios, I’ve slept a LOT.  To be fair though, working 13-hour days didn’t really do me any favors in the rest department.  But now I’m catching up, and feeling sooo much better since rest is pretty essential to recovery. And to me not being cranky. 

I know that body fat percentage is the best indicator of health, and that how your clothes fit is more important than weight, but sometimes when I’m working hard, I (sadly) get the most motivation out of seeing a little drop in the numbers on the scale.

Even though core strength is totally important, I HATE working my lower back.  Abs follow pretty closely.

I am not a rippling mass of lean muscle, and although I’ve been that way before – and liked it and would actually love to get back there — for the time being, I’m actually kind of liking having a booty. 

So there you go. I’m sure I have more, but I think that’s plenty for now.  I need to save some transgressions for the next time I come to confess, right?  Any other PTs out there?  Do you have similar confessions?  Anyone else feel that sometimes they’re totally human and aren’t the epitome of everything their profession says they should be?

Posted in body, break, food, gym, listening, moderation, personal trainer, real, sleep, squats, sweat, tired, tough, training, treadmill, tuning in, working out

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New Year, New Me

Jun 19

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(toothpastefordinner.com)

So I know we usually hear those words around January 1st, but this is a different kind of ‘new year’ for me. 

I’m turning 25. 

Yeah, I know. 

I can no longer claim to be in my early 20s, and I’ve officially hit my mid-20s.  I can’t blame my age as much when I do ridiculous things, and I’m expected to be a little more responsible.  On Sunday I will have officially been on Earth for a quarter of a century.

But I’m actually kind of excited about it.  I know there aren’t many new perks to turning 25 (I can now rent a car. That’s something, right?) like there were when I hit 18 and 21, but I feel that up until this point I’ve sort of been teetering on the edge of adulthood, waiting for that certain something to tip me over.  And although it’s just a date, I feel that June 20th is going to shove me out of feeling like such a kid.  And that’s a very good thing. 

That’s not to say that I won’t still be a complete goofball — afterall, that’s part of who I am. But I think that, to me, 25 will leave me feeling a little more sure of myself.  A little less hesitant to take life by the horns.   A little better prepared to run with whatever life throws at me.  I’m no sage just yet, but I do feel that I’ve learned a lot –about myself and life in general — in the past year. 

I quit my nice secure office job to try my hand at a completely new career path that I knew I would be much more passionate about.  From this I learned that doing what you love can be hard, but if it makes you happy, it’s more than worth it.  I started actually dating again, and I remembered what it was to open myself up, leaving myself vulnerable to heartbreak.  I discovered I’m a lot more fragile than I ever knew, but also more resilient than I had imagined I could be.  I made a lot of decisions on my own this year, and instead of asking people if I should do something, I told them.  This meant dealing with the consequences alone as well, but I slept better knowing my choices were solely mine.    Overall, with the many changes I’ve gone through in the past year, I found out I still have enough glue to patch myself back up when I start to crack.  And that I have so much to be thankful for and happy about, no matter that I’m not exactly where I want to be in life just yet.

So what about this ‘new year, new me’ business?  Well, I’ve changed so much in the past year, that I think it’s worth trying to continue with the education and evolution of Heather.  I’ve got a lot I want to do this year, so there are things I’m going work on with me:

Be gentler with myself. 

Sometimes I berate myself and tell myself that I haven’t done enough.  But the thing is, I usually do try my hardest.  And when I don’t I need to go a little easier on myself.  If I wouldn’t speak to a good friend a certain way, then I shouldn’t speak to or treat myself that way.

Be more realistic with myself. 

This means being honest with myself at all times.  And if I haven’t done enough and I know it, then I need to admit that too.  I know this sounds like the opposite of the previous statement, but I can apply the friend philosophy to this one as well.  If my friend is being ridiculous and making excuses for herself, it’s my job to tactfully snap her out of it.  So it’s all about finding balance.  Being nice, but also not letting myself get away with silly things.

Aim higher.

This actually goes with both of the above statements.  I need to remind myself that I am capable of a whole lot.  So I need to give myself pep talks here and there, being kinder to myself and building up my own confidence.  I also need to be realistic when I think I can’t do something.  When I’m being honest, I realize I’ve been through things a lot more difficult than things I’m doubting myself on.  The scary talks, the job risks, the potential of falling on my face.  I’ve already done them all and survived.  I can do whatever I put my mind to because I’ve probably done it before.

Love myself for who I am right now.

Not for what I was in college or who I want to be by next year.  But for every quirk, flaw, strength, and bit of potential I have this very second.  I have to love me. For me.  Right. Now. 

Have any of you reached milestone ages recently? Are you approaching one?  How did it or does it make you feel? Anyone else turning the big 2-5 soon?!

Happy Birthday to me!

Posted in appearance, birthdays, body, break, confidence, dating, goals, holidays, inner voice, listening, love, new, parties, positivity, self-love, tough, tuning in, Uncategorized, writing

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Link Love and In Response to Anonymous #2

Feb 28

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I am so so sorry I’ve neglected the blog, but this week has been crazy!  This was the last week of the month, meaning I was working 13 to 15 hour days and didn’t even have time to breathe, let alone blog.  Anyway, for now, I want to leave you with a few awesome links that really hit home with me this week.  If you aren’t already following these bloggers, I suggest you check them out!

First up, Gena from Choosing Raw wrote an amazing essay on embracing our appetites… for everything.  As a feminist and a woman, I can totally relate to this.  For a major chunk of my life, I was so focused on being the ’good girl’ or the ‘skinny girl’ that I ignored everything and anything I was craving.  This essay really brings to light the fact that many of us do this all the time.  

Next, my good friend Rachel from Shedding It & Getting It wrote a few awesome posts related to the same idea.  Her first one about going with her cravings and deciding not to justify to herself or anyone else what she wanted was so inspiring that I just had to smile.  She also wrote one a few days ago about ”Your Unruly Appetite” that was inspired by Gena’s post.  My favorite line? “Sometimes a girl needs to eat. And get laid. It’s biology, people — not a big f****** deal.” (Man, my parents are going to love that one…Hi, Mom!).

Another blogger, Kristin from Cook, Bake, and Nibble, talked about her experiences with disordered eating and denying herself as well.  Since it was NEDAwareness week, she talked about her struggles with body image and food.  I love the honesty of all of these ladies this week!

And one last thing before I go, I really wanted to address a comment left on my last post ‘Are Eating Disorders Contagious?‘  The second anonymous comment had this to say: “It sounds like you have an eating disorder and have had it since college. That’s what therapy is for. I don’t know if you can begin to get healthy until you face your demons and not project them on to your surroundings. I hope you take the steps to get help.” While I appreciate the honesty, and I think everyone has a right to state his or her opinion, I did want to discuss this one.  First of all, when I state my opinion in this way, I at least own up to it.  I wish “Anonymous #2″ had done the same. 

However, I would like to say to this commenter (and everyone else reading) that I have never denied having an eating disorder in college.  I had major control issues, and what I was doing was not healthy.  And I did get help.  Therapy got me my sanity back, and I give a ton of credit to the counselor who got me through so much at UMich.  And now, for the first time in a long time, I’m not counting calories and I’m not freaking out over every minute of cardio I miss or about every morsel of food that goes into my mouth.  The point of this post was to say that I am finally sane, but I know I still need to be careful because recovery doesn’t happen overnight.  I am not blaming anyone at work for any residual issues I have, just stating that I need to watch myself in that kind of environment so that I can take preventative measures to keep myself from going back to that darker place.  In the same way that someone might load up on vitamin C to keep from catching a cold that’s going around, I am forcing myself to notice what everyone is doing so that I don’t lose what I’ve fought so hard to get back — my health and my sanity.  I’m not saying I don’t still have a ways to go, but please belive that I am healthier and I am not ‘projecting my demons’ onto the amazing people with whom I work.     

To everyone else who left comments, thank you!  Your support and the fact that you read means the world to me!  And you know what, thank you to Anon #2 as well, because it’s important to address these things, and you gave me the opportunity to do so.

Hope everyone is having a fab weekend!  What you think of the links posted?  How do you feel about cravings and trying to control our appetites?  And for all of you bloggers or writers out there, how do you address the less-than-positive comments?  Do you address them at all?         

Posted in body, break, calories, confidence, eating, eating disorders, food, gym, inner voice, listening, natural, positivity, self-love, tough, tuning in, working out, writing

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Tunes for Tuesday: Hip-Swinging Soul

Jan 19

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An icon.

You know those days when you just cannot muster up the motivation to get to the gym, but you know how good you’d feel if you just got moving? Sometimes, instead of a regular cardio workout, you just need to shake it. In these instances, I call on my favorites to help me let down my hair, shake off my uptight white girl persona, and really bust a move in the privacy of my own living room. Here are my go-to tunes that allow me to really get into a groove. Some fast, some slow, some R&B, some soul, some newer, and most old, but they alllll make you want to swing those hips:
“The House That Jack Built” -Aretha Franklin
“Dancing In The Street”  -Martha and the Vandellas
“Here I Am (Come and Take Me)” -Al Green
“Super Duper Love (Are You Diggin’ On Me?) Pt 1 -Joss Stone
“Son of a Preacher Man” –Dusty Springfield
“Rock Steady” -Aretha Franklin
“Let’s Get Lifted” -John Legend
“Let’s Stay Together” -Al Green
“Ain’t No Sunshine (When She’s Gone)” -Bill Withers
“Every Ghetto Every City” -Lauryn Hill
“Proud Mary” -Tina & Ike Turner
“Can’t Get Enough of Your Love” -Barry White
“Do You Feel Me” -Anthony Hamilton
“Do Right Woman, Do Right Man” -Aretha Franklin
“Uptight (Everything’s Alright)” -Stevie Wonder
-”Let’s Get It On” -Marvin Gaye (oh c’mon, you KNEW this was going to be on here)
“I Can’t Get Next To You” -Al Green (clearly have a thing for Mr. Green)
This playlist should give you plenty of time to really get into your groove, and maybe even work up a sweat if you do choose to forgo the gym (once in a while, this is OK)! These are just some of my favorites, but what are yours? Which songs really get YOU going?

(Check out this AWESOME live version of Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” to get you inspired!)

Posted in body, break, dance, groove, gym, love, motown, self-love, soul, sweat, working out

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Just Say No

Dec 23

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Ralphie should have just said no.
Ah, the holidays. The most wonderful time of the year, no? Well, in recent years with our winter festivities running on steroids and taking up every waking second, for some the answer to that question might really be a big fat NO. From Thanksgiving to January 1st, there’s plenty of time to go crazy with everything we try to do. I personally love the holidays, but even I can’t help feeling as though I’m being stretched a little thin around this time of year.

I’ve found that the only solution to this problem is something I’m sure you’ve heard over and over again: Learn how to say ‘no.’ Just one word, two little letters, but for some reason, it’s really, really hard for a lot of us – especially women – to say it, even when we truly want to. This idea should be put into practice all year round honestly, but we’ll take baby steps and start with the holidays. So here’s an idea: stop considering every other person on the planet’s feelings and start considering what you actually need to do to keep your sanity this winter.

If you’ve been invited to your eighth cookie-decorating party of the season hosted by your third cousin once removed, and you just totally need to go running instead or you’ll strangle the first kid who reaches across you for the vanilla frosting, then say no. If you’re asked to partake in yet another Secret Santa or Dirty Christmas exchange, and you are totally tapped out and buying even a tiny gift will make you and your wallet scream, just say no. If your coworkers ask you to go out for holiday happy hour (again), and you haven’t even been able to enjoy your Christmas tree or just sit and enjoy a cup of hot cocoa at home yet, then say no. No matter what anyone says, taking time out for you during the holidays is not selfish. It’s essential.

So here’s the challenge: In what’s left of your holiday season (hey, we all have New Year’s coming up), just say no to one thing you actually don’t want to do. Maybe you do want to hit up that cookie party – go ahead and bring your award-winning sugar cookies. But if you feel like you’d rather spend booze calories and bar time on a mug full of chocolate and marshmallows while taking in the A Christmas Story marathon (leg lamps, frozen tongues, and Red Ryder air rifles for 24 hours straight on TBS starting tomorrow!), then tell the office pals you’ll see them on Monday. The world will not stop turning if you miss one holiday gathering this year. I promise. So go, enjoy the holiday season, and report back on how good it felt to say no!

Posted in break, chocolate, holidays, inner voice, listening, running, self-love, tuning in

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Lots of New Things

Sep 5

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Hi! Another long hiatus, I know. Anyway, a LOT has happened since then!

1) I moved! We got a nice new apartment two blocks away from our old one (long hike, right?), and we actually moved a few loads using shopping carts because we’re a little ghetto like that. Oh, and because we don’t have cars. But anyway, it has huge windows, high ceilings, and best of all, we’re on the third floor instead of the garden level (read:basement). It’s a three bedroom, so we got a third roommate, one of my friends from grade school and UMich. She’s a personal trainer, yoga/pilates instructor, and life coach. She’s got so much energy and runs her own business, and I love it! Seriously inspiring.

2) I got a job as a personal trainer! Yesterday, I made it official by going down and signing all the paperwork! I’ve been ISSA certified for about two months now, but after I quit the corporate gig in July, I kind of just putzed around to figure out what I was going to do with my life. I finally went downtown to the gym I’ve worked out at, and said, ‘hey, looking for trainers?’ Lucky for me, they were! And lucky for me, I know half the trainers there so it shouldn’t be toooo hard to transition. Either way though, this is going to be a totally different experience for me! And I am so excited!

3) I started a Twitter account (that’s what you call it, right?). As soon as I told my friend Rach I had gotten the job, she gave me the assignment of starting one up. So I did! I am still super wary of it, because I don’t know if I need everyone knowing my business (oh wait, I have a blog…but this is still fairly anonymous. At least it was until I link it to a Twitter feed). But for business purposes, maybe it’s something I’ll have to get over? For those of you that have it, what do you think of it?
OK, I’m off to get some coffee and cheer on our boys in maize and blue….HAIL!!

Posted in apartment, break, confidence, football, gym, Michigan, positivity, roommates, training, work

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MIA

Jul 12

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Oops, month-long hiatus….
I’ve been busy, but I’ll get back to it soon! Let’s just say some big changes are under way. I recently cut the cord at work, so in less than two weeks I will be dunzo with corporate America. I’m going to do the writing thing full-time (a book?!), and in about a month (after I practice on myself and kick my butt into awesome shape) I’m going to apply to a bunch of gyms in the area as a personal trainer! I am so pumped it’s not even funny. And things seem to really be falling into place for me….more details on that later.
On the health front, I found out why I am exhausted ALL THE TIME. Apparently I have crazy-low iron levels, so that means I started taking a supplement right away. Hopefully I’ll see results soon, but until then, Mom (she’s a nurse practitioner at a preventative medicine office) tells me I shouldn’t be doing crazy intense workouts or anything, and she’s surprised I haven’t passed out. Wow. OK. Time to take my health even more seriously! If other things weren’t motivation enough, this is kind of a big deal. I need to fix it before it turns into full-blown anemia. This means I’m going to try to even incorporate a little — gulp — red meat into my diet.
As far as fitness goes, I’ve been working on doing more resistance training (nothing crazy, obvi; see above), and making sure that hitting the weight room at least three times per week is the norm. I think I lost some muscle mass after moving here because I focused mostly on cardio. Losing the muscle mass probably is making it harder to lose, so I’ve gotta work on that. Well, now I’m doing a bit of both, and making gym time a priority. I know that I cannot sacrifice my health for financial reasons. For a while I was taking on extra freelance work (after looong days spent commuting and working), but the extra money did me no good, as it was costing me my health. Plus I was probably buying crap and processed shit that cost more anyway because I was always so tired. Anyway. I cannot wait until I have a few weeks off to focus on (not obsess over) my health and my writing after I leave my desk job.
Sigh. OK. I’m feeling good about life, and that was my explanation for dropping off the face of the blogging planet. Once I have a little more time, you can bet this baby will becoming more of a priority! I love health and fitness, and I love writing, so perfect combo right here. Until then though (9 working days!), posts will be sporadic so that I can focus on really tuning into what this girl’s body really needs!

Posted in body, break, hormones, listening, mom, natural, positivity, self-love, tired, tuning in, work

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A Runner’s Low

Jun 2

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Dear Running,
I don’t know how to say this but… I think we need to take a break. I know what you’re thinking, by ‘break’ I mean that it’s over, right? No, no, no, please. Let me reassure you that this is not what I mean at all. Because I love you, I really do. Our history is a long and complicated one, but one with more happiness than sadness, and I am just not willing to give you up.
But we still need to take a break. You say you’ll try harder because you want to make this work. I say we’ve been trying, and I’m getting more and more frustrated. You say you didn’t realize how bad the problem was getting. And I say, how could you not? My runs have dwindled to maybe once a week, and I haven’t had a good run outside since St. Patrick’s Day. The thing is, we both saw this coming, and we were both just waiting for the other to say something. You, dragging my feet when I try to break into a trot. Me, resisting your allure when you call to me on beautiful spring days from the lakefront trail just two blocks from my apartment.
In fact, I have a confession to make. You’ve been so hard on me and my shins and my ego lately that, well, I’ve been driven into the arms of another. I know I’ve always been faithful to you, but I just needed some time away and the elliptical understood me! You know, I really don’t like it much, and I don’t really know how much it’s doing for me, but it doesn’t hurt me. Probably won’t be too upset when I break things off and dash back to you, either. It’s like that cute boy I had a thing with a few summers ago, who I didn’t really have any interest in, but who didn’t really give me any grief either. The elliptical may just sit there and look pretty and not contribute at ALL while I do my thing and mindlessly burn calories, but it doesn’t cause me the pain that you have over the last few months.
And Running, sweetheart, the pain is not just physical. So my hormones went crazy and living through a winter in Chicago made my frame a little heavier. Is that any reason to slow my pace down by the amount that you did? Of course I can still run — it’s not like I’m carrying around an extra person or anything — but did you have to make me feel like I had never been a runner ever before in my life? Did you have to take my 7:30 pace away from me, and hand me a 9-minute mile on a good day, even through months of work? You make me feel lazy and like there is something wrong with me. I know you don’t mean to, but you hurt me psychologically and emotionally. Lately, I’ve caught you checking out other girls (and even guys!), and you’ve been sending signals that tell me you don’t think I’m a ‘runner’ anymore.
So, again, we need to take a break. Like I said, I love you, but I think some time apart would do us both some good. You go wild on the bike path next to Lakeshore drive. Have a ball down by North Avenue Beach. And I will enjoy the company of my trusty ten speed (once the tires are blown back up) and of the pool and the weights at the gym. We’ll go out and see other people (activities?), and we will eventually realize how much we miss one another. I’ll still wear your shoes and think of you fondly, and you’ll make someone else pick up their pace when a really great/horrible pop song comes on. You’ll miss my dedication to you, and I’ll miss how badass I feel after finishing a ten miler and how hot my legs look in a dress. Don’t roll your eyes at me, you know my vanity is endearing.
Keep in touch, with all my heart, xoxo, etc, etc,
Heather

Posted in biking, break, listening, new, pain, runner, running, swimming

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